Healing Tears

I listen to a lot of personal growth books and recordings. And then sometimes, when I ‘m not even listening, I have a moment. A healing moment; that may not feel so good at first, but they you are grateful for it. That moment.

That moment…

…when I cry; then laugh at the story I’ve carried, that was intended to bring shame to others but was only bringing shame to myself.

…when I realize through our shared humanity that I am just like those people that my story intended to shame. When I realize that they are just as deserving of love and acceptance as I am and I am the one to give that to them.

…when I cry, not because I’m sad, but because I’m healing, letting go of what I didn’t even realize I was holding on to.

…when I realize that it takes tears to let go of that shame story.

…when I cry but feel really good because in naming my shame story, even to myself, I can let it go.

…when I realize that even sharing that I have a shame story can empower someone else to name and then let go of theirs.

We all have a shame story but we don’t have to live with it. You don’t have to share the sordid details. You do have to be open and honest with yourself, invite in those hard emotions and sit, cry or walk with them until they subside. Your Creator has given you to the power to be an overcomer.

Here’s to our communal healing, our #EnjoyingBeing.

Let’s Chat: Why bother with exercise?

During a networking event, a doctor that was addressing the audience said, “exercise is not how you lose weight.” While I sort of agree I think we have to be more judicial in how we present that concept. His statement sounded to me, like giving folks a reason to skip out on exercise. Check out this Let’s Chat video and them my summary of points below.

1. Weight is not simply calorie exchange. Food does play a part but that’s because food gives our body information.

2. Toxins can play a part in weight loss also. The body may hold on to fat to save your life, literally, as that is where it stores toxins so that they don’t cause organ damage.

3. Emotions can play a huge part. “One analysis of 57,000 women found that those who experienced physical or sexual abuse as children were twice as likely to be addicted to food.” https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/12/sexual-abuse-victims-obesity/420186/

Exercise SHOULD be incorporated into your lifestyle whether you’re trying to lose weight or not, and even if you are trying to gain weight.
– creates heat and helps with internal circulation and with the activity of exchange, i.e. getting nutrients in and waste out;
– lowers cortisol and stress hormones
– increases receptor site activity for hormones.

Too much exercise will work against you because your body needs a balance of activity AND rest so it can complete repair and regeneration.

Even if it’s just a few minutes of jumping up and down in your house, your body will thank you now and later.

Let’s Chat: Lose Less Hair

I’m sharing this for my kinky and curly sisters. I don’t know how much hair you lose when you wash. Personally, I not going back to losing a handful of hair with every wash. I will share what helped me, but let me give you some context and a little of my history.

First, this is my hair process. I don’t do my much styling and at least half the time, I wear my hair in knots or twists. For me, it’s time-saving.
– wash every 7-10 days;
– use mostly oils like olive oil and coconut oil (after I wash);
– sometimes I use a hair cream particularly the Yucca & Plantain one by Shea Moisture;
– combs I use (see video);
– if I need to comb before my next wash, I use a spray bottle to make sure my hair is wet and I may also use a hair cream or oil.

I started incorporating aloe into my skin care after my teeth issue in late spring of 2017. I use it as part of my treatment – tying a piece of aloe to my face where I had inflammation happening in my gum. It was soothing as aloe is. Aloe also has protolithic enzymes, it’s antiviral, antibacterial and anti-inflammatory and is easily topically exchanged (gets all the good stuff it has into our skin easily).

Why I never made the connection to use real aloe on my hair, I don’t know. The two times I cut my hair really short, I used the aloe gel in the bottle sold for sunburned skin, and it did dry a little crispy but was a great product for me to use then.

It was mid-November, I thought, “Hmmm, I have a bunch aloe plants, let me see what it will do with my hair.” Then mid-December I heard someone mention the keratin-like properties of aloe. In case you don’t know, Keratin treatments are given to repair and strengthen hair. By this time, I had used the also twice and my hair strands did feel stronger. So I kept using the aloe and also rubbing it onto my scalp because I knew what aloe did for skin.

Which brings me to this last wash…4 days ago. I lose about 1/4 the amount of hair I would typically lose in one washing. Hashtag excited. The only thing different I did this time was to use an aloe based shampoo and conditioner. These products also had beneficial botanicals – but aloe was the first ingredient and ingredients are usually listed by quantity.

An important thing to note if you are going to incorporate aloe into your hair routine, especially if you are purchasing a product that says “with aloe”, flip the container and read the ingredients. If aloe is the third from the last ingredient, put it back on the shelf and walk away. I even saw a product called aloe oil – there is no such thing. And if you are purchasing an aloe gel – read the ingredients.

Its been four days since my last wash and I’ve used no grease or no hair cream. All I used was the aloe-based shampoo, aloe-based conditioner, and aloe on my hair to comb. My hair right now is smooth – not dry, and it’s winter – hats, dry air – yet my hair feels amazing!

Helpful ingredients are nice, but it’s two-fold. We must avoid harsh products like Sodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS) can cause hair loss. According to a report published in the “Journal of the American College of Toxicology,” although the potential for skin irritation increases in direct relation to how much SLS is in the product you use, any concentration over 2 percent will cause some degree of skin irritation…and your scalp is still skin.

I did try one previous non-toxic process – sugar scrub. For me, it was too time-consuming because you have to the scalp section by section. So having a shampoo is my preference.

Even if avoiding toxins is not your goal, aloe will still help your hair. Fresh from the plant will give you the best and fastest results but any form will have benefits. And if you are losing your hair and it is not because of disease or medication, avoid the harsh detergents…I mean shampoo.

Find the shampoo and conditioner I used here.
Learn how to remove and avoid toxins in your daily life here.

Do you have something that makes your hair sing?

Ideology to Practice: #weareallhuman

From my experience with human beings in different states, different organizations, different countries – one thing I know for sure – none of us are any better than the other. We are all human and we all want the same things:
– to be safe;
– to belong/to feel accepted;
– to be loved.

We are all human.

God did not give us the job of judging our neighbor. And typically, that takes the form of putting someone down and making them seem less than human by disassociating them with what is considered decent human qualities.

Taking away someone’s humanity by using dehumanizing terms (like monster), or using words that suggest they don’t belong (like nigger or cracker), does not get you want, whatever it is – status, money, happiness, a job – nothing. This action may cause this person to be seen as less, but those actions makes the perpetrator less. Don’t be less. Do like Jesus. Respond with love.

What do you think of the man who lives on the other side of the world and disowns his teen for not wanting to follow their social or religious practice? Don’t answer, just think about it.

Senator Rob Portman, a Republican, was against legalizing same-sex marriage until his son told him he was gay. Then he changed his tune, why? Because it hit him in his love spot. He wants his kid to be safe and happy. Maybe he even learned that legal marriage (by the laws of the United States) is not the same as biblical marriage (by the laws of the Bible). Either way, he became more compassionate in hindsight.

We all want to be safe and happy. Even that person that you don’t like wants to be safe and happy. When we get into judging our fellow humans, it is based on our limited human understanding and our tangled emotions (that too many of us don’t even feel or deal with in the first place), so how loving will that judgment be? We are not even always loving to ourselves.

And worse yet we express and execute that judgment. You could think my actions are going to take me to hell, but it’s ultimately not a decision any human gets to make, so why do I need to know your thoughts and even agree?

Oh, and we ‘Christians’ are too good at being passive aggressive…what is up with that? SO NOT cool and not loving either.

Especially in light of today’s political climate, we MUST be the change we want to see. We must expect it. We must live as it has already happened. We must give the love we want to get.

Stop responding with judgment. Respond with love.

I drafted this blog post about two weeks ago and then got to put my ideology to the test by having my purse snatched. Did it work? How did I do? Here’s how that story went.

And in case I don’t say it enough, thanks for walking this path with me. I love you.

~ Roanne

Let’s Chat: Purse Snatching And Walking My Talk

Personal development is like insurance. You never know when you need it until you actually need it. I needed it last Friday.

I’m sharing this story to share my thought process and how quickly it shifted in the midst of chaos. Had this happened 10 years ago it would have happened to a different Roanne who may have had a different reaction. I am proud of the reaction I had to this purse snatching. I’m going to milk as much good from this experience.

I also plan on being there for the assailant, accomplices and their families, through this entire court process. My goal is that this young man understands that he can and needs to make better choices to have a world that is kinder to him.

See my video below and my takeaway after the video.



All world needs more love, hope and compassion. People who feel loved and hopeful don’t go around snatching other people’s purses. It is up to us who have love and feel hopeful to put more of that out into the world by our actions.

I’ll be sharing more as this progresses. Thanks for being a part of my journey.

Let’s Chat: What’s Disrupting You May Smell Good

This Let’s Chat has loads of info. There’s an info link, action step, and questions below the video. Thank for watching.

Endocrine disruptors are chemicals that may interfere with the body’s endocrine system and produce adverse developmental, reproductive, neurological, and immune effects in both humans and wildlife. A wide range of substances, both natural and man-made, are thought to cause endocrine disruption, including pharmaceuticals, dioxin and dioxin-like compounds, polychlorinated biphenyls, DDT and other pesticides, and plasticizers such as bisphenol A. Endocrine disruptors may be found in many everyday products– including plastic bottles, metal food cans, detergents, flame retardants, food, toys, cosmetics, and pesticides. The NIEHS supports studies to determine whether exposure to endocrine disruptors may result in human health effects including lowered fertility and an increased incidence of endometriosis and some cancers. Research shows that endocrine disruptors may pose the greatest risk during prenatal and early postnatal development when organ and neural systems are forming.  https://www.niehs.nih.gov/health/topics/agents/endocrine/index.cfm

In 2004, over 200 different industrial chemicals found in newborn cord blood.

There are chemicals in the air we breathe BUT they are chemicals found in a wide array of common household products — including furniture…and the things we put on our skin.

For 80 percent of the common chemicals in everyday use in this country we know almost nothing about whether or not they can damage the brains of children, the immune system, the reproductive system, and the other developing organs,”

The most helpful thing you can do for yourself is READ the INGREDIENTS list. Turning a bottle over, look away from the “buy-me” design on the front and read the ingredients list. You will start to get familiar with names and when you do look them up, you’ll better know what to avoid.

Do you have a fragrance story?
Who else out there thinks (or thought) something was wrong with them because they couldn’t do smells like everyone else?
Where do you stand now? What do you use?
What have you removed from your life, that doesn’t work for you or you can’t use? That I’m curious to know. And do you need help replacing fragrance containing items from your life? Comment below and I can gather a post with recommendations.

Finding Ease Through Courage

the ability to do something that frightens one.
strength in the face of pain or grief.
synonyms: bravery, courageousness, pluck, pluckiness, valor, fearlessness, intrepidity, nerve, daring, audacity, boldness, grit, true grit, hardihood, heroism, gallantry, guts, spunk, moxie, cojones, balls.

In the past couple years, it’s been a huge emotional queue when I land on my One Word. This time, I was listening to a Goalcast video with Oprah giving a speech at a graduation (I did not note which school). She shared these tips. 1 – Know who you are and what you want. 2 – Be of service; and 3 – Always do the right thing…and that’s when it became clear, immediately followed by a little fear and some tears. I want more ease in my actions and my being (my other One Word option), allowing miracles to flow into my life in greater quantity and that, that ease, was going to take courage. Courage to act when I don’t feel like it and when others don’t. Courage to admit I need help and ask for it. Courage to speak up, to take action, to believe. 2018 will be the year of building my courage muscle.

And if you haven’t guessed by now, my One Word for 2018 is COURAGE.

Did your One Word find you? Come share and maybe even get some inspiration in our Facebook group.

Walking into 2018 like…

As I left the Panera Bread I realized that a shift happened, though I can’t pinpoint when (like with most personal growth). Yet, the way I walked through that space and time a few minutes before was different.
I was confident and open.
I was at ease.
I realized that though I went through the year without earning much, I lacked for nothing. Everything I needed had been provided one way or another. I realized that I did not have to compromise my lifestyle (eating and living non-toxic). I realized I had places that I belonged to. I realized I was loved and cared for. I realize that I was happy belonging to myself. I remember how at times I was unable or uncomfortable spending $15 on lunch or at other times felt undeserving of someone spending that on me. But at that moment I realized that I was enough in my imperfection. That I was neither broke nor broken. That I was abundant and whole, the way my Creator intended it. That I belonged in my life and my calling.

As I sat in the parking lot checking my phone, I opened up an Instagram message from my friend @thisgirlnamedjoy and it was this…

Happy last Friday of 2017, y'all! Make it spectacular! Via @vybesource

A post shared by Astrology & Angel Mediums (@astrologyangelmediums) on

Yup, I’m owning that!

To 2017 I say, “thank you,” for the fun memories and the learned lessons.

Alright 2018, show me what you got. I’m ready to step into an even greater path in my life. I’m ready to own my calling even more. I’m ready to walk the hard trails and the easy paths with the same openness and enthusiasm. I’m ready to be scared and excited at the same time. I’m ready to create more impact and embrace all the fallout that comes with that. I’m ready to be a better Roanne. I’m ready to shine.

Let’s Chat: Alabama and your health

Here are two stories.
I’ve heard women in my friend circle question why these women would support Roy Moore, denouncing the allegations of sexual misconduct and the women who made them.
I heard a woman talk about a friend of hers that overcame cancer by changing his lifestyle. But this one line in her presentation was what really hooked me. It was my big ah-ha. She said we all watched him be sick change his lifestyle and get better but none of us thought oh we should change our lifestyle too. 3 years later she had cancer as well. Of course, she later did all the changes her friend did and beat her cancer too. (Note to self: find that video).
Realization one:
Things that are new and different create resistance for the average human being. Our brains say, “Well this is new! I don’t know what this is. It’s scarry!” It’s a protection mechanism, even if the new thing is something that is good for us.

The point of both stories is to not be so afraid of things that are different, be it in politics or in lifestyle. I’ve tried to have conversations in the past couple days on Facebook, asking questions and sharing facts that have been met with closed minded, judgemental responses. I pray that I will never be so closed minded that I cannot even back up my point of view with reasoning and facts. It begs the question, “What are you so afraid of?”

Be open to new information. Even when it seems scary at first. Be curious about it. Ask lots of questions. Move in closer. Don’t just automatically write it off or think it doesn’t apply to you. Don’t let it be too late when you realize you should have been more curious about that new, different thing.

Take away: Roanne’s ABCs for life: Always Be Curious.

And here’s this weeks video:
PS – there’s an archive of all the Let’s Chat videos at this link. See ya next Sunday.