New year, new…?

IGGJ Happy Path Einstein.png

I’ve never been a fan of the New Year’s resolution. Yet, there is something about the energy of a new year that begs for change. So without making a resolution, what does one do?

You make a goal. Merriam-Webster defines a goal as “the end toward which effort is directed.” Note the word “effort” in that definition. That means it takes work, action. There is also the aspects of intention and integrity or alignment, but that’s for another blog post. This one is to give you some action steps to get to and stick with your goal.

Even Evernote jumped on the goal setting band-wagon this year with the #EverBetterChallenge. If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ll know that I love tools such as Evernote. So after checking out their challenge, I took from it some ideas to work into my schedule. After all, it’s hard to keep step with anything new for long if it so far outside of our norm of operations. Micro-changes is the term I use with my coaching clients. It’s using things you already use or do as the trigger for a small, new action. That way we have a better chance of sticking with the change.

What I incorporated from the #EverBetterChallenge was the daily check box. Well, I already used a daily checkbox in Evernote as my calendar/to-do list, so it was simple to just add these new intended actions to my daily list.

So what am I working on? Being more consistent with my cardio and meditation and tackling a few tasks that I’ve been putting off. I’m walking my proverbial 10,000 miles, one step/action/day at a time. My checkboxes are shown below. The highlighted ones are what I’ve added to my daily lists.

If you’re ready for some change, here are some steps to help you determine which micro changes to take action on.

1. Free write all your goals, big and small.
2. Sort them into what are long term goals (more than six months) and shorter-term goals (less than six months).
3. Choose what goals you are going to work on. I don’t recommend taking on the entire list, especially if you’ve been a resolutions quitter before. #nojudgement
4. Choose and write actionable steps for the shorter goals list. These are the micro-changes you will incorporate. 4a. Get specific. Name the what, where, when and how. 4b. Then have a backup plan. An example from my list is to do 10 minutes on my rebounder every morning before breakfast. Some mornings are not so straight forward, so my back up is to do it as soon as I get back home. The best part is being able to check it off my list for the day.

You may notice I didn’t put “why” in the list above, but it is very much worth taking time to consider. What is your motivation for that goal? It’s okay if it’s something short term like losing 5lbs to fit into a dress for an occasion, but keep digging for something deeper. You’ll then have a bigger reason, something pulling you to go further and stick with it for longer.

Do check out the #EverBetterGroup on Facebook or google the #EverBetterChallenge. And if you prefer to walk this journey solo, I’d like to offer you the perfect non-human companion, the #EnjoyingBeing Goal Journal. It will walk you through determining your goals and help you stay on track daily.

Also, I hope you’ll include a goal for your health. After all, not much else matters when our body doesn’t feel good.

Wishing you much success for 2019!

❤ Roanne

Conversations Starters From The Florence, SC Shooting

I live in Florence, SC and if you are taking a well-earned hiatus from the news, you may not have heard about the gun-fire exchange that killed a police officer, injured six police and sheriff officers and 5 civilians including the shooter. Find a link to an article at the end of this post.

What conversations can be sparked from this incident?…which I was ready to have that evening, but wanted to wait for more of the story to be released. Now that more information has been shared, here goes….

Sensible gun laws.
It’s Saturday, three days after the Florence shooting and I’m sitting in my home listening, again, to gunshots from either hunting or practice. The “gun control” conversation is a hard one to have in a place like South Carolina. Folks have been drinking the ‘fear’ kool-aid, fed to them by their ‘preferred-party’ politicians for too long. They really believe their guns will be taken away, though I have yet to be given a reason other than the 2nd amendment for needing an arsenal of high-powered weapons. It amazes me to hear high school students talk about it with such knowing.

I’m not a hunter. I can only guess why high powered rifles are used for hunting big game. However, the problem we seem to be having is they are also being used on humans. I don’t have a “best” solution but I would not be against an all-out ban. You can use other weapons to hunt and yes, you can use other weapons to kill people too. What we need is more conversation without everyone being lost in their fear or anger.

Mental Illness.
The term ‘mental illness’ carries a lot of stigma and in some cases is not a proper descriptor. I believe it limits treatment options because it does not create much space for the option of resolving emotional trauma that can lead to conditions described as a mental illness, such as anxiety. For conditions like anxiety and PTSD, I think there should be an Emotional Illness classification.

People are healing from anxiety and PTSD but not with the traditional western medical model. The alternative models used help resolve the emotional interpretation of the traumatic event that led to the anxiety and PTSD. The memory of the event is not erased, however, the emotional trigger is quieted or resolved.

Change is possible, but usually only happens after it becomes a larger part of the mass consciousness; only when a lot more people know about it.

White privilege.
Another term that seems to spark anger. But help me understand:
1 — The shooter knew they were coming to his home. Does law enforcement give courtesy calls when they have a warrant?
2 — This man and his family have had other run-ins with the law but with him and his wife being lawyers (he was disbarred) they know how to work the system.
3 — How can you have a lengthy standoff with police and yet a man running away from a police officer is shot in the back?

I applaud the work of the law enforcement that responded to the Florence event and I know that not everyone can be lumped into the same bucket. But until I don’t worry about my five nephews, all different shades of a chocolate rainbow, being stopped by police and not making it home alive because a candy bar was mistaken for a weapon, we need to keep talking about this. And I did make some suggestions in a previous blog post.

And here’s a video about the issue of racial bias. I like this because it is emotionally intelligent and asks constructive questions.

The need for #emotionalliteracyforall.
The shooter’s request for a public defender makes we wonder if they had foster kids for the financial help it provides. My intent is not to negate the possibility that they did really want to help the kids in foster care. My intent is to understand how this family ended up in such a mess so that I don’t go down that road. Without knowing the ins and outs of their life, the only reasonable thing I’m coming up with is they were not good at living with open integrity — telling the truth even when it’s hard.

Our society teaches us to keep up appearances; to keep calm and carry on even when you are in emotional pain. Humans cannot live like this forever. Eventually, people lash out or we die from our internal conflict via an illness or suicide.

I love that more people are speaking out about the NORMAL things humans experience — love, loss, pain, death, hurt, and even the ins and outs of success. Like Bon Jovi says, “Life ain’t a merry-go-round; It’s a roller coaster.” No one gets through this life without being scathed by some emotional trauma. We humans have to become more emotionally open to riding life’s roller coaster. We all have to ride it.

“I can be mean as (expletive), sweet as candy, cold as winter, evil as hell or loyal like a soldier,” the post said. “It all depends on you.” This was a quote from the son of the Florence shooter.

I’m going to assume a lot of people believe this statement to be true for them because I’ve heard it over and over and over again from a wide variety of people over the course of my life. Are you saying that other people have that much control over you that you cannot act independently of what others think or say about you, or do to you? This may sound like being tough, bold, or brave, but this shows a need for emotional literacy. This shows how much easier it is to lash out at someone else instead of being with and working through your own emotional pain.

Humans really have a long way to go. Hopefully, more will choose to take positive growth lessons from this and not fall deeper into their ignorant and arrogant us vs them story. Citizens of the USA love to tout “freedom”, yet, I think we often forget the “responsibility” part that must accompany it. Knowing that we all learn by watching the example of others, I will do my best to be a positive example. That is my responsibility.

#weareallhuman #weareallamericans

Article about the Florence shooting.

Shift Your Health: 4-weeks to feel better in your body.

Our current healthcare model is not stopping the growth of chronic diseases.

Time to try a new paradigm. Four weeks. A better you.

Shift Your Health.

Enrollment: 9/14/18 – 9/24/18

Sessions start Monday 10/1/18, 7:30 PM to 9:00 PM; weekly.

Investment: $40. A weekly payment plan available.

The return on your investment includes:
> 4 weeks to explore the health of your mind, emotions, and body.
> 4 weeks to learn how to feel better in your body.
> Changes you can implement for years to come.
> Attend classes in your PJs (online video classroom).
> Online forum to connect with other class participants.
> 1- Wholistic Lifestyle Coaching session with personalized Lifestyle Prescriptions®. (Recommend scheduling prior to the start of the 4-week session).
> 10 ThermoBuzzer™ scan images (only available locally). Can be redeemed up to one year if you are not local.
> Ongoing support via email or text prior to and for two weeks after the program (responses within 24 hours).
> 15 min personal call time, per week, during program, if needed.
> 10% discount on all future classes/workshops.
> Family and friends rate for personal coaching for up to 1 year after class. (save up to $720)

 

Problems cannot be solved with the same type of thinking that created them.

Shift Your Health.

Registration opens on Friday 9/14/18. There is a 20 person limit and I’m guessing you don’t want to miss out. Pre-register at syd.enjoyingbeing.me.

 

9/11, Emotions and Health.

Lower Manhattan, post 9/11, with the New World Trade Center under construction. Photo by enjoyingbeing.com.

I’m feeling a touch of sadness as I realized that 9/11 falls on a Tuesday again, as it did in 2001. But I don’t think that’s the only reason I feel like that. I realized that we as a society, a country, a world and just a bunch a very hurt people and most of us don’t even recognize it. Being a human guarantees you will experience some form of emotional trauma in your life; it’s just part of the journey.

However, when we exist in that hurt, we lash out with fear and anger. Without emotional literacy, it’s a hard choice to help a neighbor when we are in the emotions of fear and anger. We have a lot of work to do. And after going through such an event as 9/11, to become even more divided now, just 18 years later, is evidence that we are far from emotionally literate.

I want to believe that in a world where people cross all the imaginary barriers erected for them, that we can overcome racism, sexism, ageism and all the other -isms aka divisions. That we can be emotionally intelligent during life’s twists and turns and have the ability to help each other through because we are not lost in our own emotional trauma.

Photo from the NYPost.

I do know we can change, thanks to neuroplasticity. And it doesn’t have to take a long time either. But we have to realize that we need to change and that happens the more we see others do it. Awareness is where change starts. Awareness of the emotions and the physical sensations that accompany our emotions. Awareness that you CAN change your emotions. Allow that thought into your mind, you don’t even have to agree with it.

We cannot ignore this emotional crisis us humans are experiencing. We have conquered so much of our previously unknown. I mean, look at what modern medicine can do with the physical body. Yet, it is miles away from even touching the real medical crisis of today, ie. chronic diseases. Why?

I could summize for days as to the reasons why, but, I know what I see with my clients. I see pain resolving, hair no longer falling out and people overcoming health challenges that they have had for years. In case you’re wondering what the secret is, I’ll gladly share. It’s helping them resolve specific emotional trauma; and in this human experience, none of us are exempt. Also, emotions, especially around traumatic experiences, are something a large part of our society avoids talking about and even experiencing. No, we shouldn’t prefer emotions such as fear and sadness, but we all experience it and those experiences are a regular part of being alive, for all human beings. Avoidance is futile…and makes you sick.

So I will continue to do the personal emotional work I must do for me…and you. I will work on resolving my trauma and I will stand brave and open so that I can plant the seed of possibility for anyone looking.

Here’s what I would like you to do. Take a deep breath…or 10. Be friendly toward your emotions. Listen to your body. Seek a helping professional such as a coach or counselor, when the need arises. Do it for you, for your health and for humanity.

Lifestyle Prescriptions® and ThermoBuzzer™ starts June 1.

Starting June 1, I will be offering Lifestyle Prescriptions® Health Coaching, in-person or via Zoom. Yay! You can reserve a FULL complimentary (aka FREE) Wholistic Lifestyle Prescriptions® Coaching session. Yes, you read that correctly. To celebrate my online launch, I’m offering launch pricing until August 31 with complimentary full sessions during the entire month of June to those who are a part of my email tribe (Join here). Complimentary sessions must be booked online by June 9th and only through this link: https://calendly.com/roanne/launch.

 Interjection: Insta follow request at http://instagram.com/enjoyingbeing. Thanks. Now let’s continue.

So what is Lifestyle Prescriptions®?
This is a wholistic coaching method that finds the root causes for why you don’t feel great. It uses healing arts and science to identify a mind-body-social cause for symptoms. This addresses you as a whole person because everything in our life affects everything else in our life, even our health. I then guide you in resolving these challenges to your health. Along with providing personal support, I use non-invasive, wholistic and energy techniques. Between sessions, your body and mind have time to adjust and regenerate, and you have time to implement your personalized Lifestyle Prescriptions® bringing change that sticks and feels good. enjoyingbeing.com.

An example of a thermo scan.

ThermoBuzzer™ will also be available June 1st, with introductory pricing. ThermoBuzzer™ Mobile Imaging System combines cutting-edge mobile technology with infrared imaging to visually demonstrate stress imbalances via the autonomic nervous system. It’s the perfect educational and monitoring system for peak performance, longevity and prevention screenings. ThermoBuzzer™ is:
Non-invasive
No contact
No radiation
Chemical-free
Indicates under/over function, blood flow, inflammation and imbalances caused by stress.
Highlights pre-disease conditions that can easily be addressed with a Lifestyle Prescription®.

Bonus: Until August 31, you will get five (5) Thermobuzzer™ scan images when you book any Lifestyle Prescription session or package. This is only available when we are in the same vicinity. Sorry, it doesn’t work over the internet. But, I do plan on being between NJ and SC, and even Vegas and VA over the summer. So if you’re even curious, don’t hesitate to connect because Thermobuzzer™ travels.

IMPORTANT:
If you are reading this on my blog or on the WordPress reader, that does not mean you are a part of my email tribe. Please make sure you are in by 6/1 at tribe.enjoyingbeing.me. You will not get double emails if you use the same email as previously.

Things I like: EFT Tapping

One of my nephews has, for a long as I can remember, had a very negative reaction when he came upon a challenge while reading. It’s definitely visceral and something I pray I can help him overcome with some energy work. But, while coaching him to finish some reading last Sunday, after he had lashed out in anger, even throwing his book, I asked him to tap on his karate chop point (I’ll explain that later).

After about one minute, literally sixty seconds, he got his book and began reading – still a bit upset at first but his attitude improved and he completed the entire reading, even trying the hard words, without issue.

Lesson 1 – Why people lash out.

People lash out because of fear. They fear not being heard, not having their expectation met, not feeling loved. Maybe its happened before and so they liken this experience to a previous one and are often triggered without even realizing it. It’s part of being human and yes, we can get better at it. That will have to be another post. In the meantime, we can incorporate tools to help reduce extreme emotional reactions

Lesson 2 – EFT: A tool.

But there is a simple tool to help us when we realize we are triggered: It’s called Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT or Tapping. EFT stimulates a particular set of acupressure points, that in turn help calm the sympathetic (fear, flight, flee, freeze) response to a memory or situation. I explain more in my ‘about video’. You’ll find some history of EFT here.

I love this tool because it is simple, needs no special equipment and can be used by kids and adults to address any challenging emotion we are facing. I’ve personally used EFT to help with depressed moods or being angry and I’ve used it with my clients.

I find this to be such a valuable tool that I’ve added a reference on my website’s resource page. You will find images of the tapping points, an explanation video and a demo video referencing anxiety. I recommend familiarizing yourself with the tapping points so you’ll know them when you need them, but whenever you find yourself needing a quick reference, it will be here for you.

Know someone with anxiety? This tool would be great to share with them.

Do you have a tool to help you through life’s emotional bumps? I love tools so please share in the comments below.

Healing Tears

I listen to a lot of personal growth books and recordings. And then sometimes, when I ‘m not even listening, I have a moment. A healing moment; that may not feel so good at first, but they you are grateful for it. That moment.

That moment…

…when I cry; then laugh at the story I’ve carried, that was intended to bring shame to others but was only bringing shame to myself.

…when I realize through our shared humanity that I am just like those people that my story intended to shame. When I realize that they are just as deserving of love and acceptance as I am and I am the one to give that to them.

…when I cry, not because I’m sad, but because I’m healing, letting go of what I didn’t even realize I was holding on to.

…when I realize that it takes tears to let go of that shame story.

…when I cry but feel really good because in naming my shame story, even to myself, I can let it go.

…when I realize that even sharing that I have a shame story can empower someone else to name and then let go of theirs.

We all have a shame story but we don’t have to live with it. You don’t have to share the sordid details. You do have to be open and honest with yourself, invite in those hard emotions and sit, cry or walk with them until they subside. Your Creator has given you to the power to be an overcomer.

Here’s to our communal healing, our #EnjoyingBeing.

Ideology to Practice: #weareallhuman

From my experience with human beings in different states, different organizations, different countries – one thing I know for sure – none of us are any better than the other. We are all human and we all want the same things:
– to be safe;
– to belong/to feel accepted;
– to be loved.

We are all human.

God did not give us the job of judging our neighbor. And typically, that takes the form of putting someone down and making them seem less than human by disassociating them with what is considered decent human qualities.

Taking away someone’s humanity by using dehumanizing terms (like monster), or using words that suggest they don’t belong (like nigger or cracker), does not get you want, whatever it is – status, money, happiness, a job – nothing. This action may cause this person to be seen as less, but those actions makes the perpetrator less. Don’t be less. Do like Jesus. Respond with love.

What do you think of the man who lives on the other side of the world and disowns his teen for not wanting to follow their social or religious practice? Don’t answer, just think about it.

Senator Rob Portman, a Republican, was against legalizing same-sex marriage until his son told him he was gay. Then he changed his tune, why? Because it hit him in his love spot. He wants his kid to be safe and happy. Maybe he even learned that legal marriage (by the laws of the United States) is not the same as biblical marriage (by the laws of the Bible). Either way, he became more compassionate in hindsight.

We all want to be safe and happy. Even that person that you don’t like wants to be safe and happy. When we get into judging our fellow humans, it is based on our limited human understanding and our tangled emotions (that too many of us don’t even feel or deal with in the first place), so how loving will that judgment be? We are not even always loving to ourselves.

And worse yet we express and execute that judgment. You could think my actions are going to take me to hell, but it’s ultimately not a decision any human gets to make, so why do I need to know your thoughts and even agree?

Oh, and we ‘Christians’ are too good at being passive aggressive…what is up with that? SO NOT cool and not loving either.

Especially in light of today’s political climate, we MUST be the change we want to see. We must expect it. We must live as it has already happened. We must give the love we want to get.

Stop responding with judgment. Respond with love.

I drafted this blog post about two weeks ago and then got to put my ideology to the test by having my purse snatched. Did it work? How did I do? Here’s how that story went.

And in case I don’t say it enough, thanks for walking this path with me. I love you.

~ Roanne

Let’s Chat: Purse Snatching And Walking My Talk

Personal development is like insurance. You never know when you need it until you actually need it. I needed it last Friday.

I’m sharing this story to share my thought process and how quickly it shifted in the midst of chaos. Had this happened 10 years ago it would have happened to a different Roanne who may have had a different reaction. I am proud of the reaction I had to this purse snatching. I’m going to milk as much good from this experience.

I also plan on being there for the assailant, accomplices and their families, through this entire court process. My goal is that this young man understands that he can and needs to make better choices to have a world that is kinder to him.

See my video below and my takeaway after the video.

 

Takeaways

All world needs more love, hope and compassion. People who feel loved and hopeful don’t go around snatching other people’s purses. It is up to us who have love and feel hopeful to put more of that out into the world by our actions.

I’ll be sharing more as this progresses. Thanks for being a part of my journey.