New year, new…?

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I’ve never been a fan of the New Year’s resolution. Yet, there is something about the energy of a new year that begs for change. So without making a resolution, what does one do?

You make a goal. Merriam-Webster defines a goal as “the end toward which effort is directed.” Note the word “effort” in that definition. That means it takes work, action. There is also the aspects of intention and integrity or alignment, but that’s for another blog post. This one is to give you some action steps to get to and stick with your goal.

Even Evernote jumped on the goal setting band-wagon this year with the #EverBetterChallenge. If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ll know that I love tools such as Evernote. So after checking out their challenge, I took from it some ideas to work into my schedule. After all, it’s hard to keep step with anything new for long if it so far outside of our norm of operations. Micro-changes is the term I use with my coaching clients. It’s using things you already use or do as the trigger for a small, new action. That way we have a better chance of sticking with the change.

What I incorporated from the #EverBetterChallenge was the daily check box. Well, I already used a daily checkbox in Evernote as my calendar/to-do list, so it was simple to just add these new intended actions to my daily list.

So what am I working on? Being more consistent with my cardio and meditation and tackling a few tasks that I’ve been putting off. I’m walking my proverbial 10,000 miles, one step/action/day at a time. My checkboxes are shown below. The highlighted ones are what I’ve added to my daily lists.

If you’re ready for some change, here are some steps to help you determine which micro changes to take action on.

1. Free write all your goals, big and small.
2. Sort them into what are long term goals (more than six months) and shorter-term goals (less than six months).
3. Choose what goals you are going to work on. I don’t recommend taking on the entire list, especially if you’ve been a resolutions quitter before. #nojudgement
4. Choose and write actionable steps for the shorter goals list. These are the micro-changes you will incorporate. 4a. Get specific. Name the what, where, when and how. 4b. Then have a backup plan. An example from my list is to do 10 minutes on my rebounder every morning before breakfast. Some mornings are not so straight forward, so my back up is to do it as soon as I get back home. The best part is being able to check it off my list for the day.

You may notice I didn’t put “why” in the list above, but it is very much worth taking time to consider. What is your motivation for that goal? It’s okay if it’s something short term like losing 5lbs to fit into a dress for an occasion, but keep digging for something deeper. You’ll then have a bigger reason, something pulling you to go further and stick with it for longer.

Do check out the #EverBetterGroup on Facebook or google the #EverBetterChallenge. And if you prefer to walk this journey solo, I’d like to offer you the perfect non-human companion, the #EnjoyingBeing Goal Journal. It will walk you through determining your goals and help you stay on track daily.

Also, I hope you’ll include a goal for your health. After all, not much else matters when our body doesn’t feel good.

Wishing you much success for 2019!

❤ Roanne

Give Love. Get Love. Donate.

Mantra bands are here!

I’d been thinking about doing #EnjoyingBeing bands for over a year. I’d also been trying to figure out a way to pay for individual trauma resolution sessions for survivors of domestic abuse.

I’d been doing group sessions with a group of domestic abuse survivors for some time now. But it’s hard to foster real change on a personal level, in a group setting. Especially for a group of women who are coming from a life where it was beneficial to protect oneself at all costs. It’s challenging to get them to truly open up in a group.

Yet, these women are just the ones who need real change, who need to heal from their past traumas so that they can move forward as contributing members of society and not end up back in another abusive relationship.

Your donation will help make this possible.

The part I’m most excited about is the mantra on each band. “I am loved. All is well.” I wanted the bands to have a gift from me to the wearer. I chose that mantra because it was so universal, it could fit every stressful situation, serving as a grounding (or uplifting) reminder. It could also be used as a meditation mantra for 15 seconds or five minutes and leave a person feeling centered.

One coping strategy for those who experience panic attacks is to ground oneself by touching something around you. This mantra band would be perfect for that.

Order a band for yourself and everyone in your circle. Any donation is accepted. Bands are gifted started at $2.

There’s even a way to give a $5 donation for free. Hop over to donate.enjoyingbeing.me. I’ll also be keeping track of how many survivors are helped on that page.

With love and thanks.

Roanne

What’s Making You Sick

I’ve spent the last two weeks of November, including Thanksgiving, in New Jersey, and by the time I left, I almost didn’t know what day it was. Between my four nephews playing Fortnite (#groan) and the many naps I had to take (self-care for the caregiver), it is time to get back to my regularly scheduled life LOL.

Of course, I spent some time reflecting on my life’s journey, the past year and what I was thankful for. One huge thing was…

…my health. I am really thankful for my health.

I was not always thankful for my health. I supported it as best I knew how with minimal effort of course, and it was sort of always there…until one day it wasn’t. Then I missed it very much. I then spent loads of money and even more time working to get it back.

That part of my life journey, helped me realize that health and wellness was always part of my life. As a teenager, I read Self magazine. Really! I did!. I grew up with “bush medicine”, my grandma had a leaf and tea for everything. The religion I grew up in has a “health message” that was a major part of it proselytizing. Helping my mom with her health issues and then having to overcome mine. My life’s journey has led me to the work I do now as a Wholisitc Lifestyle Coach.

Over Thanksgiving, I did a series of Lives on Facebook because I realized that many of my friends didn’t have an understanding of what I did and it was frustrating for me to see everyone posting about their ailments and me not scream from the social media rooftop, “I CAN HELP YOU!!” You can view the video series here.



Saying I can help you is one thing. I also want to give you a hands-on opportunity to see what could be causing your symptoms. You can do that with my compliments in the next two weeks. I’ve made some time available on my calendar.  Click here to pick a time: https://calendly.com/roanne/explore.

And if you haven’t, be sure to like my Facebook page to future information videos – https://www.facebook.com/EnjoyingBeing/.

Feel free to pass this message on to a friend. Maybe they want to find out about their symptoms too.

With gratitude, from my heart to yours.

Roanne

Today.

The poem below is what poured forth after seeing those on social media call refugees and the people that give them financial support, “pure evil”. I realized that those “Christians” need my prayers more than the refugees because they have “hardened their hearts.” A heart is softened by love and compassion.

Then I thought, weren’t those that were “out to get” Jesus considered the religious elite of their time? I wonder what “reason” they will give God as to why they behaved with hate other humans?

Next, my observation. Those considered secular are embracing oneness and shared humanity and those “commissioned by Christ” are still stuck in a duality that justifies disregard, fear, and hate for other humans. Are we not all neighbors on earth? #whatwouldJesusdo #lovethyneighbor #GodisLove.

Where are you placing your hope – in a God that influences with His love or in our human ability to rebut what we fear?

And so while it feels to me like I’m “rocking the boat”, I speak out for MY shared humanity, because one day, it could be me in need of support from another human and instead of seeing me as someone in need, they may think I’m “pure evil”. I hope not.

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Today.
Today, I woke up in a bed, in a warm house.
Today, I got to go to work and earn an income.
Today, I had good-for-me food that tasted good.
Today, I had clean water to drink.
Today, I called my loved ones, heard their voices and saw their faces.
Today, I put on clean clothes that kept me warm.
Today, I accessed the internet and mined from the knowledge it holds.
Today, I listened to an audiobook on my mobile device.
Today, when I turned the key in my vehicle, it started.
Today, I didn’t have to walk 2000 miles in search of a better life.
Today, the kids I know didn’t have to sit on a mat on the curb to attend school.
Today, I didn’t lose my home to a flood.
Today, I was not punched and told it was because I was loved.
Today, my body didn’t hurt.
Today, I can vote.
Today, I can practice whichever religion I choose, or none at all.
Today, I could become a legal spouse.
Today, I get to show compassion to someone whose shoes I don’t want to walk in.
Today, I get to make food, to send via a loved one, on a plane, to an old friend.
Today, I get to smile.
Today, I get to breathe.
I get to
be,
do,
have,
and enjoy,
today.
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow I may have to go without all these things.
But today…today someone didn’t get to experience any of these,
yet they breathe,
and they hope,
and they keep moving forward,
with as much #EnjoyingBeing as they can,
today.

Conversations Starters From The Florence, SC Shooting

I live in Florence, SC and if you are taking a well-earned hiatus from the news, you may not have heard about the gun-fire exchange that killed a police officer, injured six police and sheriff officers and 5 civilians including the shooter. Find a link to an article at the end of this post.

What conversations can be sparked from this incident?…which I was ready to have that evening, but wanted to wait for more of the story to be released. Now that more information has been shared, here goes….

Sensible gun laws.
It’s Saturday, three days after the Florence shooting and I’m sitting in my home listening, again, to gunshots from either hunting or practice. The “gun control” conversation is a hard one to have in a place like South Carolina. Folks have been drinking the ‘fear’ kool-aid, fed to them by their ‘preferred-party’ politicians for too long. They really believe their guns will be taken away, though I have yet to be given a reason other than the 2nd amendment for needing an arsenal of high-powered weapons. It amazes me to hear high school students talk about it with such knowing.

I’m not a hunter. I can only guess why high powered rifles are used for hunting big game. However, the problem we seem to be having is they are also being used on humans. I don’t have a “best” solution but I would not be against an all-out ban. You can use other weapons to hunt and yes, you can use other weapons to kill people too. What we need is more conversation without everyone being lost in their fear or anger.

Mental Illness.
The term ‘mental illness’ carries a lot of stigma and in some cases is not a proper descriptor. I believe it limits treatment options because it does not create much space for the option of resolving emotional trauma that can lead to conditions described as a mental illness, such as anxiety. For conditions like anxiety and PTSD, I think there should be an Emotional Illness classification.

People are healing from anxiety and PTSD but not with the traditional western medical model. The alternative models used help resolve the emotional interpretation of the traumatic event that led to the anxiety and PTSD. The memory of the event is not erased, however, the emotional trigger is quieted or resolved.

Change is possible, but usually only happens after it becomes a larger part of the mass consciousness; only when a lot more people know about it.

White privilege.
Another term that seems to spark anger. But help me understand:
1 — The shooter knew they were coming to his home. Does law enforcement give courtesy calls when they have a warrant?
2 — This man and his family have had other run-ins with the law but with him and his wife being lawyers (he was disbarred) they know how to work the system.
3 — How can you have a lengthy standoff with police and yet a man running away from a police officer is shot in the back?

I applaud the work of the law enforcement that responded to the Florence event and I know that not everyone can be lumped into the same bucket. But until I don’t worry about my five nephews, all different shades of a chocolate rainbow, being stopped by police and not making it home alive because a candy bar was mistaken for a weapon, we need to keep talking about this. And I did make some suggestions in a previous blog post.

And here’s a video about the issue of racial bias. I like this because it is emotionally intelligent and asks constructive questions.

The need for #emotionalliteracyforall.
The shooter’s request for a public defender makes we wonder if they had foster kids for the financial help it provides. My intent is not to negate the possibility that they did really want to help the kids in foster care. My intent is to understand how this family ended up in such a mess so that I don’t go down that road. Without knowing the ins and outs of their life, the only reasonable thing I’m coming up with is they were not good at living with open integrity — telling the truth even when it’s hard.

Our society teaches us to keep up appearances; to keep calm and carry on even when you are in emotional pain. Humans cannot live like this forever. Eventually, people lash out or we die from our internal conflict via an illness or suicide.

I love that more people are speaking out about the NORMAL things humans experience — love, loss, pain, death, hurt, and even the ins and outs of success. Like Bon Jovi says, “Life ain’t a merry-go-round; It’s a roller coaster.” No one gets through this life without being scathed by some emotional trauma. We humans have to become more emotionally open to riding life’s roller coaster. We all have to ride it.

“I can be mean as (expletive), sweet as candy, cold as winter, evil as hell or loyal like a soldier,” the post said. “It all depends on you.” This was a quote from the son of the Florence shooter.

I’m going to assume a lot of people believe this statement to be true for them because I’ve heard it over and over and over again from a wide variety of people over the course of my life. Are you saying that other people have that much control over you that you cannot act independently of what others think or say about you, or do to you? This may sound like being tough, bold, or brave, but this shows a need for emotional literacy. This shows how much easier it is to lash out at someone else instead of being with and working through your own emotional pain.

Humans really have a long way to go. Hopefully, more will choose to take positive growth lessons from this and not fall deeper into their ignorant and arrogant us vs them story. Citizens of the USA love to tout “freedom”, yet, I think we often forget the “responsibility” part that must accompany it. Knowing that we all learn by watching the example of others, I will do my best to be a positive example. That is my responsibility.

#weareallhuman #weareallamericans

Article about the Florence shooting.

Breast Cancer, ThermoBuzzer™ And More Awareness.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is upon us and I’m looking for ways to help communities be more aware of their health and shift the mindset in a more positive and proactive direction.

A common misconception is that we don’t have to do anything but get our screenings/tests each year. However, a test is not a method of prevention. Prevention is the daily action we take. Yet, many people don’t think about their health until something feels really painful or something shows up in a test.

An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.

In my Wholistic Lifestyle Health Coaching practice, I utilize a device called ThermoBuzzer™.  The ThermoBuzzer™ Mobile Imaging System combines cutting-edge mobile technology with infrared imaging to visually demonstrate stress imbalances as heat. This heat occurs where the body is working to heal, regulate or normalize. It’s perfect for monitoring peak performance and longevity. It’s also non-invasive and chemical-free. And it’s the perfect tool to detect issues when prevention is still an option. Click on the image to see a demo video of ThermoBuzzer™.

In October, I’m offering to set up for two hours (negotiable) to do screenings at a location of your choice. I will need a room or even just a corner as I can bring a portable privacy screen. The screening will be free to you and your patrons/attendees.

If you would like to make a reservation for the complimentary service, please reach out to me at iam@enjoyingbeing.me. Together we can move our community’s health-mindset in a more positive and proactive direction. If you have an organization that would benefit from this, please forward this blog post to them or find an official letter here.

What preventive steps do you take currently? Do you believe ailments like Cancer can be prevented? Let me know in the comments.

IMPORTANT NOTE
ThermoBuzzer™ is not a medical device. You will not receive a medical screening or diagnosis. This is not a substitute for mammography screening. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recommends any thermographic screening be done as an adjunct to mammography. This offer does not conduct medical examinations, diagnose, treat or cure any mental or physical disease, disorder, injury or illness. It also does not recommend or prescribe any pharmaceutical drugs or any change in dosage or discontinuation of prescription medications. Always consult your healthcare provider.

 

Shift Your Health: 4-weeks to feel better in your body.

Our current healthcare model is not stopping the growth of chronic diseases.

Time to try a new paradigm. Four weeks. A better you.

Shift Your Health.

Enrollment: 9/14/18 – 9/24/18

Sessions start Monday 10/1/18, 7:30 PM to 9:00 PM; weekly.

Investment: $40. A weekly payment plan available.

The return on your investment includes:
> 4 weeks to explore the health of your mind, emotions, and body.
> 4 weeks to learn how to feel better in your body.
> Changes you can implement for years to come.
> Attend classes in your PJs (online video classroom).
> Online forum to connect with other class participants.
> 1- Wholistic Lifestyle Coaching session with personalized Lifestyle Prescriptions®. (Recommend scheduling prior to the start of the 4-week session).
> 10 ThermoBuzzer™ scan images (only available locally). Can be redeemed up to one year if you are not local.
> Ongoing support via email or text prior to and for two weeks after the program (responses within 24 hours).
> 15 min personal call time, per week, during program, if needed.
> 10% discount on all future classes/workshops.
> Family and friends rate for personal coaching for up to 1 year after class. (save up to $720)

 

Problems cannot be solved with the same type of thinking that created them.

Shift Your Health.

Registration opens on Friday 9/14/18. There is a 20 person limit and I’m guessing you don’t want to miss out. Pre-register at syd.enjoyingbeing.me.

 

Why America? Emotional Literacy And Fixing Racism.

Hey America, I have a question?

For reference, here’s the video that tipped me into this idea. https://www.facebook.com/OccupyDemocrats/videos/2097816210311422/

I consider myself pretty objecting and open minded so I have to say that I don’t know what preceded this video. Maybe the officer tried to pull him over before he turned into his driveway. Maybe the girl (white) in the front seat incited a fear in the office and he felt the need to “protect”? Maybe the officer was just having a bad day? I don’t know and it doesn’t matter. My question is:

Why does it escalate so quickly with police when it’s NOT a white person?

There are numerous incidents recorded on video where a white assailant with a weapon was safely disarmed and arrested. In this instance, if this guy was being so combative, why didn’t the officer wait for backup. He could have blocked him in the driveway. He could have asked what happened to his tail light. Maybe he was in fear and lost control of his forebrain thinking.

When we are angry or in fear, we lose our capacity to think clearly. Blood literally leaves the forebrain, our thinking center. Yet, that is the place we need to be most operational in to fix this.  No blood = no rational thinking. We are hindering humanity, we are hindering ourselves with our anger and fear. It is important that we keep our hearts connected to our shared humanity. That requires emotional literacy. We must learn to feel our emotions and not always act out from them. We must realize that every human being has red-blood and wants the same things as everyone else – to be safe and to be loved. And there’s no reason we cannot be generous with these things. Safety and love are not diminished when shared; they grow.

Side note to those that say “If you don’t like how things are here in the USA, move to another country.” That reasoning is senseless, especially with regard to someone whose forefathers were slaves, here. They didn’t ask to be here, but ‘here’ presently belongs to them also. And the fact that they are still viewed as threatening or ‘less-than’ is also senseless. They deserve 100% of the rights and comforts enjoyed by every other citizen of ‘here’.

I know the race situation is dire. Anger can be helpful, but it only helps to initiate action. Anger will not resolve anything. We must become proactive instead of re-active, and one day we will be able to see our fellow humans without seeing race. To that end, I have suggestions for two groups of people, one each. Place yourself accordingly. Then I have a recommendation for us all…and an invitation.

Group 1 – white people and those that are white-passing.
First, explore real history, not just what is given in textbooks. Yes, you can watch that on free TV too, in shows like American Experience. Second, connect with and help install change for those in group 2. In doing so, you help to better the world you also live in.

Group 2 – black, colored, immigrant, anyone not white-passing.
You must know that you deserve good things. Please stop relegating yourself to what history has taught you. You are enough. Move forward with love and forgiveness, not anger.

Simple, but maybe not easy. You’d have to first own your part in this. Second, you would have to care about others. When we are in our feelings, especially fear and anger, other people are not what we think about. Please refer back to my statement above about our brains when we are in fear and anger. Remember, you can feel fear and anger without lashing out.

I don’t think this is fix-all; but we must keep moving this issue forward, hopefully to a place where it will no longer be an issue. We all have a role to play, myself included. My goal is to help grow the communal belief, for both groups listed above, that no human is less than another. I want to help others walk in the truth that every human is deserving of belonging simply because they are here. A big part of that is addressing how we deal, with what I feel is the hardest part of it: our emotions. And yes, I am building workshops about emotional literacy.

To that end, I am also hosting a virtual Wilderness Meetup. The term ‘wilderness’ is based on Brene Brown’s latest book, “Braving The Wilderness”. It will be a place for open conversation. Please join in – bit.ly/heart-wild.

And that recommendation: vote, in every election. I’m so stoked that I got to vote in my first open primary election because of where I live now (South Carolina).  Politicians, no matter their party affiliation do not have all the answers, though some truly mean well. But our system is not set up for politicians to have all the answers. It is set up for citizens to participate. We think they are operating on our behalf, but with less than 50% of the eligible population voting in any given election, how can that be? The day Americans really turn out to vote, I’m talking 80-100%, politicians will sit up and take notice. In this political system, we the people are supposed to be the ones with the power. Let us stop depriving ourselves of that power.

“Nobody will ever deprive the American people of the right to vote except the American people themselves and the only way they could do this is by not voting.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

And just in case you are stopped by the police while not being white: http://www.blackpolice.org/education/whattodowhenstoppedbythepolice81814.pdf

I love you. And I’ll see you in the wilderness.

Healing Tears

I listen to a lot of personal growth books and recordings. And then sometimes, when I ‘m not even listening, I have a moment. A healing moment; that may not feel so good at first, but they you are grateful for it. That moment.

That moment…

…when I cry; then laugh at the story I’ve carried, that was intended to bring shame to others but was only bringing shame to myself.

…when I realize through our shared humanity that I am just like those people that my story intended to shame. When I realize that they are just as deserving of love and acceptance as I am and I am the one to give that to them.

…when I cry, not because I’m sad, but because I’m healing, letting go of what I didn’t even realize I was holding on to.

…when I realize that it takes tears to let go of that shame story.

…when I cry but feel really good because in naming my shame story, even to myself, I can let it go.

…when I realize that even sharing that I have a shame story can empower someone else to name and then let go of theirs.

We all have a shame story but we don’t have to live with it. You don’t have to share the sordid details. You do have to be open and honest with yourself, invite in those hard emotions and sit, cry or walk with them until they subside. Your Creator has given you to the power to be an overcomer.

Here’s to our communal healing, our #EnjoyingBeing.