Let’s Chat: Be A Boat-rocker

Most of us humans are not boat rockers. We don’t wake up in the morning with the goal of causing commotion in our social seas. Yes, some people may very well make that their goal, but most people don’t. And before you jump to whether that is good or bad, follow me for a moment.

We are raised, and taught, by words and actions. We learn through observing those who crossed out paths – family, friends, teachers, classmates, etc. And today, we live our lives based on what we’ve learned. Yet, our present world is markedly different from 100, 50, even 10 years ago.

We live based principles passed down through generations and while they have changed some, they have not matriculated enough in too many areas of society. Now, I don’t think we have to toss everything out the window and start from scratch. But I do think we have to take a look at what we hold true and question whether it is beneficial in this current climate.

There was a Facebook video that started me down this thought path. It had a caption laws being passed to address sagging pants. I have no idea what it was about because I did not even look at it. But here is where my thoughts went:
things become social trends; we voice our opinions about it but basically dismiss it as a nuisance; fast forward 20 years; make laws to address the ‘social trend’.

Here’s the question de jour – does punishment, without addressing the belief  of the thinking, feeling person, bring change? Kids or adults? I’m guess we both came up with the answer of “no”.

Yes, punishment can change what behavior a person exhibits but it will not do much to change their thinking, feeling or belief – except now they believe they will be punished for expressing that behavior.

We must address the whole person when we want to institute change. We can punish forever and in so doing have some level of control over society, but what about the rabble-rousers? Those people show us that you cannot legislate what or how people think. And before you think rabble-rousers are a nuisance, they are usually the ones that institute the greatest, positive changes in society.

So what do we do? Well, I don’t know. I don’t have a simple solution. But we are off to a good start because you can only create a change when you see that there is a space for change. When you get to place of asking the question about change, you are in that space.

The same holds true for our health.

Our system is broken. When an 10-year old has to be treated for an eating disorder, out system is broken. When people would rather take a drug that does more harm than change a behavior that would help them feel better, our system is broken. People have given up their God given responsibility to care for their body, to others who don’t live in their body.  What is the disconnect we have that makes us think that’s okay? How can we change that?

My greatest wish is that more people get to space of asking questions. Asking questions comes with self-responsibility.

It really doesn’t matter what questions you ask. My favorite prompt word is ‘how’. Asking ‘how’ seeks solutions and implies self-responsibility because you are the only person you can put into action. ‘What’ and ‘when’ are also good prompt words. I am careful of two.

Why…can be helpful but we can also get stuck there. Coaching provides us with tools that are forward thinking and ways to create the change we want without fully knowing or understanding the why of the problem. So be mindful of the ‘why’ question.

Who…could be helpful also, but can also become a place for blame and excuses. Be careful of the ‘who’ question too.

I live my life by these ABCs – Always Be Curious. Let’s start asking. I’ll even take bad questions because at least it opens the door to the possibility of a better question. When we ask questions our possibilities become endless.

Here is the video for this Let’s Chat.*

Last week was #NEDawareness week – Feb 26 to March 4th, 2017. Let us be open to asking and answering questions. This is how we learn and connect and help better this world we all share.

*Let’s Chat happens live every Sunday on my Facebook page.

So what do you think?

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